Depression

Depression and frustration are related word, but there is a difference between these two. Let me explain you the basic difference between these two. Frustration impact in our life is shorter or less comparable to depress. In depression our mental strength is almost lost and it's hard to come out of depression while in frustration you can come out of that easily.In Depression we lost self confidence and trust on self while in frustration we have that are less affected. But, Frustration can convert to depression sometimes if you don't care. (for more detail on frustration, please read my blog article frustration)

Root Cause of Depression

From my point of view below can be dominating factor for depression.

 

1.Incident

Sometime suddenly all things change which can impact our mind. For example, You are earning too much money in your business, but due to some reason your income reduces suddenly. Due to this you are unable to fulfill your family requirement. It will create pressure in your mind and after some time you may be in a depression.
When you lost a main family member in an accident and suddenly too many responsibility come to you and if you are not able to fulfill that then it can impact on your mind and after some time you may be in a depression.

2.Failure

When people fail after several attempt they can come with depression. It can be in anything like sports, exam, business. For Example, If some sportsmen after hard preparation not able to select in national team then they can come with depression.

 

3.Disease

When people are suffering from diseases like cancer, HIV, diabetes, they feel like they burden to himself and for family. Some people among them are from childhood live freely and when they affected by this kind of diseases they are not able to tolerate and after a long time they may come with depression.

4.Break-up

Our mind is directly proportional to feeling and emotion. When we are in love with someone our mind is connected with them. Break-up happens due to some reason then our feeling and emotion are crushed. Which can create issues in our mind. We are not able to erase the memory of those feelings and emotion and sometime it can cause depression.

 

Ways to come out of depression

About depression, I think "prevention is better than cure" applies as well. We should take care once we are mature to think about yourself. Let's discuses first prevention of depression. you can follow at least one of the below option.

Reading 

I am not telling you to read books related to your field. My intention of reading is to read something that motivate or inspire you. Keep a habit of reading a positive, meaningful book it will help you to fight when you are in the worst phase of your life. For example, Reading the book of saint, scientist, inspirational story, freedom fighter.

Sports

Keep yourself connected with one of the sports not as a career, but as a habit. It will make you stronger physically and mentally. Instead of exercise I have mentioned sports reason is exercised will give you only physical fitness but sports will give you mental and physical path. If you are a sportsman then also keep yourself connected with one more sport just for enjoyment. It will make you strong enough because you are playing that without tension and intention.

Yoga and Meditation

Yoga and Meditation will give you physical and mental fitness. If You are doing yoga and meditation regularly, it means you have control on yourself. If you have control on yourself that means you will not go into a depression situation.

Nature

If you have a nearby natural place exist keep visiting it. It will give you peace of mind and make your mind strong when you watch sea, tree, mountain, river, bird. Please avoid taking too many photos and enjoy the beauty created by god. Also plan to tour once in a year for natural place that will refresh you from daily work.

Now, Let's say we missed the prevention then what? For that, let's discuss what we can do if we are in a depression.

For depression I can't give you many solutions, but there is one solution, but it's enough to solve this issue. When we are in a depression we don't like to talk to everyone and share our issue. But at least find one person, it may be your friend or relative. Please select that person wisely who is having positive thoughts and energy. Try to connect with him as much as you can. Once you feel comfortable, then share your problem. All the best.

Frustration

Frustration is the most common issue at this time. But why is it so? What can we do? How to get out of frustration? Is it due to Mobile? Everyone has many questions related to frustration. I will try to give answer of two most common questions related to frustration.

 

Why people get Frustrated?

1.Expectation too high

This is the main reason for frustration from my point of view. Our expectation from school, office, family and friends are too high sometime and when it's not fulfill it hurt. When we repetitively hurt from one of them, then we frustrate. Example, When wife expects tour with her husband every year and every time husband denying to wife, then wife Will gets frustrated after repetitively hurt.

2.Social Media

I know you are thinking like it's needed and very useful, But let me remind you one beautiful quote from Swami Vivekananda "Anything exceed its limit in life is poison for you". If you spend too much time on social media you get frustrated easily. Social media will decrease your mental stamina. (in terms of adjustment, compromise, ego). Example, while you are chatting with one of your sweet friend and your mom ask in between to complete some task. (Think about your facial expression!)

3.Over Thinking

The thinking process is necessary before any action in life, but over thinking is harmful to mind. Instead of over thinking start action and be vigilant about what you want to do. Over thinking make our mind Dustbin and our all thoughts are garbage without any implementation in real life.

How to come out of Frustration?

 

Way to come out of frustration

 

1.Family And Friend

Relationship with Family and friends are the most important factor to come out of frustration. Spend time with family and friend it will relax your mind. Example, Due to some office work issue you frustrated after that once you come to the home you see a beautiful smile on mom face or your favorite dinner menu with your family prepared by your wife or playing with children make you relax.

2.Share Problem

From my point of view sharing is equal to caring. You can share your problem with someone who care for you. Normally when we are in frustration we lose confidence to ourself, but if we share our problems, then they will boost up our self confidence.

3.Natural Place

When you feel you are frustrated go for a picnic or tour of natural place. People live in cities are preferred movie in theaters, but let me explain you difference between both of that. Please observe yourself when you come out of the theater and also when you are looking toward river, tree and mountain at natural place. You can easily identify which is giving peace of mind. 

4.Accept Reality

Instead of over thinking or expecting too much just focus on your work it will give better results. which can lead you in a better situation from the current situation. To run away from the problem, it is not the right solution, accept reality and face it with patience and confidence

5.Don't Compare With Other

Every individual person born with different minds, brain and heart. If you are comparing yourself with other you are doing injustice to yourself. Just compare yourself with your past and see you are doing progress or not and set goals for the future based on the progress report. Instead of comparing with others try to learn good thing from other or great character. Example: Instead of comparing yourself with anybody try to implement his virtue (hard work, patience, dedication) in your life.

Enjoy Life Learning

Fiance and Fiancee

It's very interesting topic for every young boy and girl!! Some time we confused with this two word and interchange while we pronounce. Let me clarify first that. Fiance is a boy engaged to be married. The fiancee is a girl engaged to married. As we all know they're two ways (arrange or love) to engage with someone. As per my view both ways are proper if we select each other based on some analytical thinking. Now, you have a question that what I mean by analytic thinking? Based on my analytical thinking I will try to help you to select a perfect life partner. There are different check for in both ways (arrange or love) to get engaged.

Arrange Marriage


In arranging the marriage process both families are involved from starting, That is why I have kept a different check for the love and arrange marriage. Let's focus on the main topic!!

A.Tips for a Girl at a time of Engagement

• As a girl you need not to worry much about his friend circle, income and family environment because already your father/brother/mother have verified that.
• When you meet him (obviously before engagement!!) try to check his thinking, behavior, attitude and look.
• Most of times boy will ask you about what you want to do in future ??Please clarify what you really want to do. (study or job or whatever)
• I will advise you don't share personal problem with him in first meet, because you don't know how he is. Some times it may create issues for families.
• You can share your thought on family, study, job or hobby it will be a better option for discussion. First hears him than share your thought.

B.Tips for a Boy at a time of Engagement

First of all don't expect perfection or dream girl. (looks at you if you are perfect, then expecting!!) Generally there are trade of in below the point.

• Education
• Nature
• Look
• Attitude
• Thinking

Don't ask too many questions and give her chance to share her view. Ask about her view on family, study or hobby.

Love Marriage

As per my view first check that you both have love with each other not just attraction. Many times we consider attraction to each other as a love. Attraction can be due to knowledge, Money, Look or Attitude.

For example, If you have attracted to the flower you will pluck it up. But, if you love, then you will give water daily to plant.
First check that you both are true friend of each other. You can read my blog topic "Friend" to get more idea on true friend.
 
Few Tips:

• Check your life partner behavior with the waiter when you go for lunch/dinner in hotel.
• Invite your life partner in family events and look at his/her reaction with your family.
• Spend time with friends' circle of your life partner.
• Try to understand each other thoughts, feeling and like/dislike.
• Be ready for adjustment and compromise for your love. Because we all know before marriage all things are in theory, but after marriage, it is all about practicality.

All the best...

Family

Family is not just a group of people who living together, But it's a group of people who think, care and love to each other. Members of a family are like fingers of hand if they co-operate each other they are strong but if they not then they are weak. To make our family stronger mutual understanding between each other is very important. I have observed that people who living in Joint family more happy than the nuclear family. I have asked some of my friends who live in nuclear family they prefer to live in joint family. Why everyday number of joint families are decreasing? My thinking is if you have problem to live in joint family you will also face similar problems in a nuclear family. Family means more than one person either it's joint or nuclear. My question is how to make the family (joint or nuclear) relation perfect ?

How To Make Family Relation Perfect?

There are too many factors which can make our family relation perfect, But I will try to cover most dominating factor. Let me explain you one by one.

 

 

1.  Generation Gap

As per My view in family relation you must understand the generation gap concept. For every generation thinking process, energy and understanding are different. For Example, Let's say your family need to give water to a tree which is near to your home (200m) and you have a bucket and small tub to complete that process. When you will ask your children to do that task, They will fill the tub from the bucket and give water to trees and they will continue that process till bucket will be empty. When you did that task at that time you will pick up a bucket and give water to the tree. When you asked for your parents at that time they will pick up a bucket and while going towards tree they will take rest 1-2 times in between them, they will give water to the tree. They will not instill full bucket, but whatever really needed for tree and reaming water they will bring back in the bucket. In the above example, you can understand the concept of the generation gap.  Please keep this thing in mind and behave accordingly When you are with your family.

2. Let Go Attitude

As per my view we should keep our ego outside of our home and enter into a family with let go approach. I know it's easy to say but difficult to follow, But we have to start!!! Try to adjust yourself with another family member behavior. Please avoid to change other family member behavior or nature because it's internal process nobody can force and change. Every time don't give suggestion, but try to implement first.

3. Spend Time

Every family member should spend enough time with family. You believe or not, but it will give energy and zeal to you. It' not enough to just create a group in What's App "my sweet family" but we need to spend time with family. Try to take dinner or lunch together everyday. Plan a picnic or tour with family and try to avoid taking too many selfie and photo.!!

4. Discussion

If you have doubt regarding anything with you any of family members. Just discuss with him/her and clarify it. Many times relation breaks due to miss understanding, It is better to discuss and find solutions together. Sometime you did mistake, then don't hide the truth with your family member. For Example, You fail in some exam or You lose money in business or stock market.

5. Ethics

In one of the points I have mentioned about to let go attitude, but it does not mean you compromise on basic family ethics. Example, In your family if in daily routine all members come before 10:00PM then if someone come later in some day, then they should inform before or explain proper reason later. Every family should update basic ethics as time change. But no compromise in basic ethics.